People that constantly have to try and prove to everybody that they are strong and happy and 'OMG MY LIFE IS SO AWESOME!!!' are really annoying. Like my best friend told me yesterday, "Life fucking blows. Don't try and cover up the smell of bullshit with cheap perfume."
I will exude happiness...WHEN I'M ACTUALLY HAPPY. I'm not dishonest. I'm not a faker. I hate that corny crap. I'm not going to lie and pretend I'm happy or try and cover up my disgust with some chipper sounding daily affirmation. I'm going to be real, just as I always have been. And that is why I appreciate and respect my friends back at home.
Yeah, everybody knows the girl who is always laughing and down to do anything....but she's always fucking drunk. I'm not talking about myself, btw. Or there's the guy that sounds like Mister Rogers, "everything is beautiful! Just look at it different!" Dude...spare me the sugar-coated horse shit. You can play like everything is unicorns and rainbows in public but I know you go home and cry yourself to sleep. I do not want to be like either of these people.
I'm being tested by nature and fate every damn day. I'm on a steep uphill crawl towards being back on the west coast where I belong. And I feel like this is the cosmos way of saying, "HERE, bitch. We're going to throw every means of roadblocks in your way to crush your soul before you leave this god-foresaken state. That way, once you're finally out, it'll feel THAT MUCH BETTER."
So whatever. Just make this last month or so go fast, please. I've got better shit to do than this, and I feel like the people here are getting dumber by the day.
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